Since there is a Designated Senator rule now in effect (at least the First Lady thinks there is!), I have decided to establish an exploratory committee to help me decide which state needs me… or I want it!

There are several states that are immediately disqualified. I've lived in four states. Beyond the fact that they know me in these states, apparently just living in the state is a no no under this new designated senator rule. So Pennsylvania is out (born and raised), Vermont (two years), New York and finally Florida. I know living 20 years is Florida you are not even a rookie cracker, but it disqualifies you for the Senate under this new rule.

This leaves many states to review… it is going to take a lot of money to explore all these states so send money, lots of it!

First, my qualifications. I know it will be a negative, but I have not embarrassed my wife, nor she me in public to the extent that it is on all the papers and the evening news. Please don't hold that against me. Let me assure you I have embarrassed my wife enough… I have received many elbows in the ribs and icy glares, but not to the magnitude of the President and the would be designated senator. Perhaps I have not achieved the required victimhood. Let me think… just what could I do…?

Another minor negative… I have worked for a living in the private sector. Furthermore I run my own business. It would be very difficult to stand in the well of the Senate demanding employers do this and do that. I have had that conversation and when that conversation is between you and you the conversation is short…. Especially when both of you have knowledge of the company checkbook!

I do own my house and paid real estate taxes over the years. Oppps, another apparent disqualification. But since I have to move, I could sell my house and become homeless, ah, that's it, perfect! Let me assure you I could get used to living off you folks, it you promise to support me in the manner to which I would like to become accustomed!

But I do have real qualifications. I have chaired a church sanctuary remodeling committee. Let me assure you that when you have done that… Social Security, Medicare and campaign financing reform would be a piece of cake.

I have a good attendance record at work… I show up everytime the boss says so. And I kind of like the work schedule in the senate. Usually they work from Tuesday thru Friday morning. They have long holiday breaks. How many of you working in the private sector have had a week long Easter break, Christmas break. Heavens, they just got off a Memorial Day break that lasted more than a week. These guys think their still in college. I guess if you can live off your parents, go to college and get these breaks, living off the taxpayer should provide the same breaks. I'll just to take to the senate floor and demand that your employer give you all these "breaks".

Let's review the possible states. After living in Vermont, I understand Winter and want no part of it. Also, living in Vermont you get a glimpse of summer. They say, in Vermont, summer usually comes on a Tuesday! Nope, the cold states are out.

Missouri would be good. I could see the Cardinals play. But Missouri is out. It gets as hot in the summer as here and it has a mean winter plus tornadoes! California…perhaps. Nope, earthquakes. Arizona? I don't think so. They don't have anything green except golf courses… well now maybe, let's leave that on the list.

Arkansas and Illinois, absolutely not. If they are not good enough for the First Lady, they are not good enough for me.

This is beginning to get difficult. Perhaps you don't even have to live in the state you represent. Most senators just have a weekend house in their state… they live full time in Washington, after all that is where all the lobbyist and the money is! If you were a senator representing North Dakota would you live there?

I have a suggestion for the President and First Lady. Hillary, just go for the Gold… go for the President of the United States. Don't take a detour to New York. Let the President run for Senate from New York. Just think, you already have a nice home in Washington. I am sure the New Yorkers would not demand you have a home in New York. A hotel room would suffice and you could use it for your shopping trips and Bill could use it for… oopps, this is a family newspaper!

This whole idea of being a designated senator is beginning to be a hassle. However, I am going to press on. Send money. I have decided that with the temperatures in the 90's, I should explore the western part of North Carolina for a few weeks.